Funny Fights Between Teenagers and Parents
Blake has worked in mental health since 2002. He educates others on their paths toward resilience and recovery.
Parents and teenagers may fence over a diversity of topics, from clothes and curfew to spending money. Detect some sources of parent-teen conflict and some methods for resolving problems.
Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay
Why Practise Parents and Teens Get Into Conflicts?
Conflict happens when two people disagree based on their own goals, values, or behavior. It'southward not ever equally simple as an argument. Rather, conflict is what happens right before the argument; it's what the participants disagree about earlier they start calling each other names.
Parents and teenagers inherently accept many opportunities to experience conflict with 1 another. Adolescence is a time when independence and parental influence clash, since teens are able to think on their own just still alive with parents who have rules and expectations for them. Teenagers don't necessarily concur the same beliefs and values every bit their parents, and their goal to have fun conflicts with their parents' goal to keep them safe.
List of Common Reasons for Conflict With a Teenager
Hither's a list of common sources of conflict between parents and their teenage children.
| allowance | curfew | getting rides | smoking |
| trunk piercings | diet | grades | taking care of a pet |
| swain/girlfriend | dishonesty | hairstyles | tattoos |
| cell telephone utilise | disrespectful behavior | how to spend coin | type of music |
| chores | drug use | messy rooms | using electricity/hot water |
| church/religion | fairness | noise | what to eat |
| clothes | getting out of bed | sex/displays of amore | who to hang out with |
11 Hot Topics for Heated Arguments
Although disagreements over all of the topics mentioned above can lead to household strife, the following 11 topics, in particular, tend to provoke a lot of arguments between parents and teens.
ane. Curfew
Curfew is a archetype topic for parents and teenagers to debate about. Information technology doesn't really affair what time the curfew is; when kids don't testify up at dwelling house when they're supposed to, their parents get worried. A worried parent becomes a scolding parent. When the teen does come up home, they get an earful and a stiff punishment.
ii. Cell Phone Employ
Historically speaking, cell phones are a new engineering science, and so this is a fairly new source of conflict. It ties into the other sources of disharmonize, like how to spend money and what kinds of displays of affection are appropriate. Commonly, the disagreement happens when the teenager uses their cell phone excessively, either by racking up a very loftier phone bill or while communicating with a meaning other. Sometimes, the phone is used in an inappropriate way, such as sexting.
3. Dissonance
It doesn't thing whether it'south a party, an electric guitar, or the Idiot box—parents don't seem to have the same tolerance for noise every bit teenagers. Sometimes, teens want to have noisy fun while their parents desire to slumber. This is a common conflict that occurs every mean solar day. Conflicts over the type of music could fall nether this category, too, because if parents don't like the music the kids are listening to, then they are more probable to tell them to plough information technology down.
4. Boyfriend/Girlfriend
There are 1,000 reasons why a parent might not similar your boyfriend or girlfriend when you're a teenager. There are too 1,000 reasons to justify that the parent is being unfair. Either style, parents probably run into their kids as being too young to make a good conclusion—if they are even old enough to engagement at all.
5. Church/Faith
Information technology's easy for parents to influence their young children into going to church and practicing organized religion. Nevertheless, as a child matures, they start thinking in more complex and abstract means. They beginning to be influenced past peers, teachers, coaches, and the media. Teenage beliefs may clash with parental beliefs nigh whether at that place is a God, who God is, or whether church is important.
six. Grades
If in that location'southward one like shooting fish in a barrel, standardized way for parents to gauge maturity and subject, it'due south by looking at a teenager'south grades. Although this may not be totally truthful, parents might withal use this data to estimate a teenager every fourth dimension their grades are reported. Some parents have a problem with Fs, while others don't fifty-fifty desire to see Cs. Regardless, the conflict happens when the parents' expectations aren't met.
7. Fairness
No one likes to work for free, only occasionally teenagers see doing chores as working for gratuitous. Their parents are likely providing something tangible as payment that the teenager may not exist acknowledging. For example, the parents may be providing food, wearable, shelter, use of a vehicle, etc. But when yous are young and self-centered, that'due south non enough payment for taking out the trash and cleaning your room. Allowances may not run across the adolescent's expectations, just like grades may not come across parental expectations.
8. Personal Appearance
Tattoos, piercings, crazy hairdos, heavy brand-up, or curt skirts are easy ways to option a fight with parents who value traditional looks. Information technology's a flake ironic that many teens desire to limited their individuality by getting a piercing or a tattoo since at that place are millions of other teens expressing their individuality in the same way.
9. Smoking, Drinking, and Drug Use
No parents say that they want their kid to corruption drugs. When parents find out that their teen is struggling with substance abuse, it goes against their vision of a brilliant future for their kid. By the time the parents find out, it has probably become a problem in some manner already. Adults struggle with substance corruption, too, then this argument may also have the form of a teen confronting a parent.
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10. Dishonesty
Honesty is already a hot event for some people. When parents are totally responsible for their teenager, and they realize the teen is lying to their faces, they'll likely feel aroused. Lies are usually used to cover up something else, such every bit theft, sneaking out, or hiding a tattoo. As a teenager, when yous interruption your parents' trust, information technology can accept some fourth dimension to go out of the pigsty yous dug for yourself.
11. Using Electricity/Hot Water
The employ of electricity or water is another easy source of conflict when y'all have the parents paying for something that the teen seems to use frivolously. Does any of this sound familiar: "Plow off the lights. Shut the door! Were you born in a barn?"
How Tin can You Resolve Parent-Teen Conflict?
Identifying the source of conflict is the first pace to resolving the conflict. Here are a few tips for parents and teenagers to use:
- Focus on common goals: View each other as allies in the mutual goals y'all agree on, which usually include keeping the teen prophylactic and seeing them be successful. Refocus your energy on these goals to continue from getting too adversarial.
- Speak thoughtfully: Employ "I statements" to limited feelings and make requests. Just say "I experience _____, when I _____." Make simple and specific requests. This is much meliorate than blaming and name-calling, which normally happens when emotions run high.
- Brainstorm solutions: List possible solutions to the conflict together. This may seem obvious, merely many times a conflict will polarize viewpoints until no compromise or negotiation seems possible. Just outset listing creative ideas, whether they seem reasonable or not. Creativity is your friend when solving any problem in life, including conflicts with others.
- Make a decision together: It'due south even so a conflict if parents tell their teen that they have to do something "considering I said so." Information technology'southward also still a conflict if the teen just gives in to a threat and the relationship gets damaged. Decide on a solution together when both parties are calm plenty to make rational decisions. Don't endeavor this when anyone is angry, though.
Stay at-home to stay productive. Don't bespeak fingers (literally or figuratively), and don't try to make a decision while y'all're still mad.
Photo by Raychan on Unsplash
What Exercise You lot Argue About?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author's cognition and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized communication from a qualified professional.
logan on February 05, 2020:
holy clean your washer
someone annoyed on June 03, 2019:
delight right about teenage conflict but non teeanage and parents and family!
booshka on February 06, 2019:
teenagers may seem evil at times, but parents aren't ever right, you know
Franklin on November 17, 2018:
I salute your organized work of causes and solutions to tackle them
Ouba on Baronial 15, 2017:
Parents are really think they know it all...if they bad things in the by they should non brand that our problem
SharonBallantine on November 13, 2014:
No 2 people will agree on every topic all the time. Learning to get along with others includes learning to accept that nosotros accept differences of opinions--and all the same, we can still respect and even like each other.
This is true within our own families also. When we teach our children at an early on age to look inside themselves and discover what makes them unique, we must likewise have that in that location may be things well-nigh them that we would not have called for them if it were upwards to u.s.a..
Focus on the feelings behind the disagreements and learn to really mind to what is being said, and the emotions backside the words. And be willing to work with your kids to come upwardly with alternative solutions in the face of disagreements. The best solution for the family is usually one you lot collectively cull. It might not take been your first choice, or even something you would have idea of on your own!
Russell Pittock from Nakon Sawan Province, Thailand. on September 11, 2014:
My wife and I were young parents and we thought that, for this reason, nosotros would be more than in touch with our children. Zero could take been further from the truth. The areas of conflict that you accept identified ring very true.
ghea on Oct ten, 2012:
usually the teenager now wanted to live young wild and gratuitous...
they do what they want... they don't care what other people say nigh. and they don't care who sees about it..
all they want to do is to have more fun in their life....
JP Carlos from Quezon CIty, Phlippines on March 07, 2012:
Teenage is truly a difficult time for both parents and the child. On one side is a child learning most himself, friends, society, norms rules etc., on the other finish is a parent trying to protect the child. The balance is quite difficult. I'thou a new dad and I'thousand already worried about these things. I guess, it's something all parents will somewhen accept to handle.
Aunt Mollie on January 12, 2012:
Excellent information for raising teenagers. A little turbulence during these years is perfectly normal. Voted upward!
Nancy Owens from Usa on January 01, 2012:
I like that you talked nigh seeing one another as allies in the surface area in which yous agree. Knowing that both parties tin can agree on at least some things sort of helps to have the sting out of the part where you have to receive criticism. Voted upward and useful!
Stephanie Das from Miami, The states on January 01, 2012:
This is a cool commodity. When I was a teen, I fought with my parents most my political party habits and slacking off at school. I was a scrap rebellious, only luckily for me I was the youngest child, so I got to slide under the radar.
Denise Handlon from Northward Carolina on Dec 31, 2011:
Well written article with lots of important and interesting information.
Helen Murphy Howell from Fife, Scotland on December 31, 2011:
The pointers for helping to resolve conflict issues are excellent. Non many articles on this topic have these and simply highlight the conflict areas. Great hub + voted upwardly!
Aurelio Locsin from Orange Canton, CA on December 30, 2011:
I like how you not merely signal out the sources of disharmonize but offering some resolution strategies. Voting this Up and Useful.
Source: https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Sources-of-Conflict-Between-Parents-and-Teenagers
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